Scars
by Kickass800825
Summary: Following the lockdown, Eli examines what happened that night with a six-pack of beer, some music and a very familiar location. Warning: Eli does get stabbed in this story, so be warned. Rated T for swearing and underage drinking. Please read and review.


**Howdy. This is my first degrassi fanfic. But not my first fanfic, so I hope its not horrible. I have a very love/Hate relationship with the Mid-Season finale of this season. If left a lot of unanswered questions. But I guess that's also the point of Finales, to have a cliff hanger. But I have issues with Fitz and Eli's showdown. I feel that if Fitz was going to get arrested, why didn't he just take the chance that he had. But I also wanted to see into Eli's mind. To get to know him a bit before we get to know him, and after. What happens during his two week break and stuff like that. I hope you enjoy it. - Sam Daniels. **

regular writing - Present.

_Italic writing - Past. _

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Eli stood, unmoving, silent as he stared at the street, beer in hand and speakers blaring. He has been completing this ritual ever day for the duration of the two-week break and it was no use, breaking this tradition on the last night. He took a drag of his beer, switched songs until it rested on **Hotblack **by Oceanship. This very song was the last song he had listened to before the Fitz situation went down. He stared at his abdomen, seeing the scar through his clothes. All of the black layers couldn't stop him from seeing the mark in his minds eye.

It was a constant reminder to him, that because of his childish grudge against Fitz, he could have died. He can't lie about that day. It hurt, like hell. It surprised him though. All those months, he had been praying and hoping that death would come. He even tried cutting a few months back, but nothing worked. His parents caught him and forced him to change schools, they thought that maybe a change of surroundings would help him out of his grief fest, but to get back at them, he died his hair black and switched up his wardrobe. He adapted a whole new Eli. One that no one had even dreamed of him becoming; He had become obsessed with death. It was something that he was eager of achieving. Something, that he knew that once he could become ever close to achieving the opportunity, he would take it greatly. But when he arrived at Degrassi, something altered his game plan. He ran over the most beautiful girl's glasses. When he stopped at picked them up, getting his first glance at her, he was awestruck. She was beautiful. Clare quickly became apart of his life. He craved her presence like a drug, like Heroin. When she wasn't there, the suicidal thoughts returned and loneliness filled the void.

It was wrong to depend on her, to make her his anchor of existence. But he couldn't help it. He refused to let himself love her though it was obvious from the start that, that was the exact feeling he was experiencing. He couldn't love her. Not after Julia. Loving her would kill her. Not that he could be the boyfriend that she needed, she needed someone that would stick around for a long time, who had dreams and ambitions, other then killing himself within the year. So he waited, and waited, watching and getting to know Clare. He couldn't believe that someone so beautiful and innocent could exist. She didn't have a mean bone in her body, or a mean word to say. She gave everyone a chance. When he found out about KC, he was furious. Who would consider a girl above Clare? **His **Clare? That was the first time that he considered Clare his. But when the Romeo and Juliet project came around, and that they had to kiss, Eli couldn't decide how he felt. Kissing her was the most amazing thing he has ever experienced. Her lips fit perfectly with his and it sent shivers up his spine. He was leading her on and he knew it. But when she kept badgering him and trying to get it out of him, he caved in. He drove her to this very spot and told her, wanting for once to be absolutely honest. It felt relieving. So, from that day on, he let her in.

But during all of this, Fitz started giving him the gears. Who would screw with a hearse? It costed him a good thousand bucks, not including the decorative additions and the constant engine failure. Fitz just pissed him off to oblivion, picking on him for the sake of picking on him. He fought back, which was wrong and stupid, but someone had to show him that he wouldn't take it. But it just messed things up between him and Clare. She didn't like violence, which may have been part of her Christian values and what not. But when Fitz started going after Adam, Eli knew that something must be done. He would get him back. He decided that blaming him with the stink bomb would get his panties in a bunch, getting him expelled. But nope, instead he had to take his side of the battle to a whole new low, going after Clare. Taking her to the dance was something that Eli wished he could have done, but Fitz blackmailed her into going with him. Thinking back on it, if Clare had just gone and Eli didn't go, none of what followed would have happened.

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_Eli stood at the blackjack table, considering his odds when Clare came up to him. He noticed that she looked beautiful and also conservative. __**Good, **__he thought. After what Fitz said to him today about hooking up with her, the way he said it like it was a definite thing. He shuddered and tried to listen to what she was saying. Something about how all he had to do was apologize. _

_But instead of taking the golden oppritunity, he screwed up yet again. Clare looked at him, with such disapointment as Fitz ran off embarrassed after losing his cookies. _

"_Whatever Fitz does to you, you deserve it." She told him, before running after him. To comfort him. _

_How had the tables turned so quickly that she was now seeing him as the bad guy? He groaned, placing the cup down on the table. Adam came up to him, not moving to say anything. Eli was grateful. He merely nodded, although no words were exchanged, and pulled out his iPod. _

_ "I'm going to go look for her." Adam nodded. "Hold down the fort and win me some chips." _

_ He walked aimlessly down the halls, playing his iPod on shuffle. Dead hand blew his mind, taking him away from the frustrating situation at hand. How could Clare not see that he was putting him in his place? But, by embarrassing him, Eli became the bully. He slammed his back up against the lockers, trying to figure out how he had become something he never wished he would. Suddenly, Clare was in front of him, pulling his headphones out. _

_ "Come with me, Fitz has a knife." He didn't move. He couldn't think. His mind went blank. "This is where we run, come on." _

_ "I won't let that jerk scare me." He replied, trying to hold his false bravado. _

_ "Eli, he has a knife!" She pleaded. Eli was going to tell her to get herself out of here, then, to save herself. But Fitz beat them to it. _

_ "Don't you two look cute?" Suddenly, Eli and Clare were facing the hallway. Clare stood slightly in front of him, a clear sign that she was going to try and protect him. Eli wanted to stop her, but she had already started. _

_ "You should leave." She suggested. Eli swallowed, watching Fitz advance. The knife in his right hand glimmered like Edward Cullen in the moonlight. _

_ "And Let pretty boy over here make time with my date?" _

_ Clare took a step back, "Please Fitz, don't do this." _

_ "Shut up, bitch." He countered, his voice booming. Clare cringed at the words, falling into step next to Eli. Gently, as Fitz stepped closer, Eli pushed Clare away. _

_ "Get away from me." He whispered. She choked back a sob, stepping back against the lockers. "Look," He turned to Fitz. "I'm sorry about before, about everything. You win." _

_ Fitz nodded, shoving him backwards. "I've heard that before." _

_ "This time, I'm serious." Eli protested, desperate for Fitz to believe him. _

_ "So am I. You had this coming for a while." Fitz shoved him again. Eli was lost for words. This was going to happen. He looked over at Clare, wordlessly. He had so much he wanted to say to her but couldn't, because Fitz shoved him yet again. "What's wrong, Emo Boy? Out of smartass comments?" _

_Eli hit the wall. He was trapped between Fitz and the corner. He made one last plea. "Please. Don't do this." _

_ "Someone's got to shut you up." Fitz replied coldly, smiling. Eli braced himself as Fitz suddenly thrust his arm forward and shoved the knife into his gut. He heard Clare scream, bringing him back to the moment. Eli gasped, looking down at the embedded knife, and then up at Fitz. The sadistic smile on his face as he pulled the knife out slowly. Eli grunted, as it finally was free of his body. He slipped to the ground, thankful for the wall to give him something to rest against. Fitz ran off, leaving the blood red knife on the floor. Clare rushed to him, searching for the wound, when she found it, she pressed on it hard. Eli screamed in pain, sweat dripping down his forehead. _

_ "I'm applying pressure. I'm so sorry." Clare sobbed, keeping her hand on the wound. "I have to stop the bleeding." _

_ "Clare…" Eli mumbled. "The damage is done…" _

_ "No! You are not going to die!" She argued, placing her non-bloody hand on his cheek. Tears were streaming down her face like cars on the highway. Eli reached a weak hand up and wiped them away, Clare smiled faintly. _

_ "Freeze. Put your hands up! This is the police!" Clare closed her eyes and exhaled. _

_ "Please help us. He's been stabbed!" The woman officer rushed over, leaning down to examine him. She spoke into her radio, ordering an ambulance. "Sweetie, I'm going to need you to go outside and get two more officers, we need them to carry him outside." _

_ "N-no." Eli gasped. "It'll hurt." _

_ "We have to move you." The officer stated. "No choice, son." _

_ Eli nodded reluctantly. Clare kissed his forehead, and then bolted. Eli smiled slowly and then lost unconscious. _

_ When he awoke, he was in the back of an ambulance, men moved frequently around him, hooking him into machines with painful needles. Eli flinched as the IV entered his hand. The paramedic apologized and then continued to add the flushing fluid into the tube. _

_ "Sir?" _

_ "Yes Eli?" _

_ "When I get there, could you do me a favor? Find Clare and tell her that I don't want to see her." _

_ The paramedic looked puzzled. But Eli wasn't conscious long enough to receiver any questions. _

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That night, Eli did not see Clare, which meant that the Paramedic had found her. He never regretted that order. He needed to separate her from him, keep her safe. He had countless nightmares about that night and that instead of him being stabbed; Clare was stabbed. He could see her clearly, in his minds eye with blood seeping down her dress and blood being coughed out of her mouth. He flinched. He took the finishing drag of the beer, throwing the can at a passing car. Tomorrow, school was to resume. Eli knew that things would be different. Fitz was in jail, as he should be but when Adam talked to him, he told him that Clare had confessed that the stink bomb was her doing. Eli groaned. But then Adam informed him of the warning Simpson stated. That nothing would be the same. He was scared, yes. Changes were never good. They brought wanted and unwanted chain reactions. Clare would never talk to him again, he was sure of that. He smiled crookedly, as the new song played on his iPod. It was Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. This song meant exactly how their relationship had played out. He would do anything to protect her. And unfortunately, it lead to him letting her go. He had too. Kicking a small rock on the sidewalk, he began the long and unfortunately drunk walk home. Degrassi's upcoming changes weren't the only things of the past. He just hoped that someday, she may understand. Until then, he would take whatever anger she had. And he would treasure it, knowing his sacriface had done him well. His scar did not go unwanted. The scar proved to him that he can take pain, that he can survive pain, that this is just temporary and eventually, he hopes that it will stop hurting. But until then, Beer and Oceanship will cradle him and carry him, helping him forget until the memories are no more. And all that was, will be no more.

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**I'm not sure about the ending. I played around with several ways to end it and I decided on this one. **

**Love it? Hate it? Think of ways to improve it? Please review and share your thoughts. Everything is apreciated. **


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